i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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