john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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