omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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