you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she looked like the before picture.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
