Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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