Michael Bay diarrhea
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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