there was a trapeze. enough said
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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