I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
