Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
