Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
