Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
