so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
