I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
