Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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