I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The ass gains better be worth it
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