O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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