I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
