i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
