a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I did not marry a roomba.
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