Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it hurts more in the daytime
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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