i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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