i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
