she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
