kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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