i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
