I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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