We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
