these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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