You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
