What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize