i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
