Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
