Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
