I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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