Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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