Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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