Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
