Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
