Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize