well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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