Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
