recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
