sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize