I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize