Its about making memories worth repressing
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
