My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
