help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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