also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
