ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
