shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
