my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
