considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
