K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
