it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
