I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
