I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
