Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
